Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Purple Porpoise Pub

We left Key West about 6 pm or so. It was a 90 mile drive back to our hotel and we were pretty pooped. Leaving Key West you go over several small bridges over small cuts in the land. Right on the north side of one of these bridges a small run down bar on the north side of the highway caught my attention. It was called the Purple Porpoise Pub. It was a dump but the name had me in stitches. I have no idea why (sleep deprivation?) I started free associating a dialog between a conversation that might occur with a drunk patron of the bar and the local cab company. It went along these lines...

"Hello, Key West Cabs."
(drunkenly) "Hello Key West Cabs? I need a cab to pick me up."
"Yes Sir, where are you?"
"At the Puppy Purpose Plub. I mean the Purple Poopy Pup..."
"You mean the Purple Purpoise Pub."
"Thas right. Gosh, you're good."
"And you name sir?"
"So it's Paul at the Purple Porpoise Pub?"
"Thas right."
"Anyone with you?"
"My wife."
"Your wife?"
"Yep. Paula."
"So we're picking up Paul and Paula at the Purple Porpoise Pub?"
"Wow, ur good. We have two friends with us."
"And they are...?"
"Patty and Perry."
"So its Paul, Paula, Patty and Perry at the Purple Porpoise Pub?"
"Thas right. Man, ur good."

and so on. As you know how my mind works you could probably guess that this went on waaaaay long. And so here is the final summation of this entire affair...

The cab was to pick up Paul, Paula, Patty and Perry at the Purple Porpoise Pub. They're from Pittsburgh and on their way to Poughkeepsie. Paul is a professional plumber. Paula is a peridondist and part time piano teacher at the Presbyterian church. The have two children, Penny and Fred (Fred is Paula's kid from a previous marriage to Pierre from Portugal who was a putz.) They requested to be picked up in a Pontiac. Paul drives a Porshe but is leaving that at the Purple Porpoise Pub. They're plastered. They ate pizza and drank pina coladas.

And quite frankly I have forgotten about 75% of it. This kept us thoroughly amused for almost the entire trip back to the bed and breakfast.

("Wow. ur good.")

btw, there was no alcohol involved in this at all. But then when did I ever need booze to come up with this kind of stuff?

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